Fire Ants Can Bite My. . .

… well, my !#$% — and they did! Just when you think it’s winter and don’t need to worry about the ants for a while, you end up getting stung ten times all over the legs and, well, another areas that shouldn’t EVER have ants around ’em!

I was over at FattKidd’s place shooting guns; next thing you know I start feeling little stings all over my legs and “other areas”. (I knew the damage was done already.) I got to investigatin’. MY GOD, MAGNUM! I had a bunch of the things all curled up just loading me up with poison. For those of you that don’t know what the fire ants are like, well, THEY SUCK!! They have stingers and some of the most toxic poison on the planet. You can barely see the ants they are so small, but the damage they do it huge! The poison is an alkaloid venom that kills tissue — so you get the necrosis going on; that’s always good for ya. The poison kills some people. 24 hrs. after the bite(s) you have all these nice pits and pustules starting to show themselves. They itch, get infected instantly, take months to go away, leave purple scars for that last forever, blah, blah… Long story short, they SUCK! In the years I’ve been down here, I must have been bitten over a hundred times. By the time I’m old, my legs are going to fall off.

The ants are impossible to get rid of. You can just mildly control them (with chemicals). And, at best, you just move them to another area. But, they always seem to come back sooner or later.

Go ahead, read about the immigrant f@%*!@’s: The Story of da Fire Ants (They ain’t natives!)

NOT GOOD! But, come to the South (especially the Deep South) and be ready! I can tell you this much, they’re ready for you!

This entry was posted in Ramblings, Rants.


  1. Jonathan January 27, 2006 at 10:48 am #

    Mr. Dumass,
    Didn’t you know, “Firin’ guns aint easy! I know the billy bobs of the South make it look easy and all, and have even made it into an olympic sport but you’ve got to use your strategery. Next time make sure you have a gas bucket and a handful of “Blackcats” and/or “screemin kitty chasers” handy so you can shoot fireballs at the damn things. Do screw up a good day of powder and pellets because of the lack of planning.
    Your friend from a long lineage of “necks”

  2. Fattkidd January 30, 2006 at 10:24 am #

    “Blackcats”? “Screemin kitty chasers”? I thought YOU were a screamin’ kitty chaser!!! 😉

    No. It was just karma. He got Karmalized. He was talkin trash, bein’ all bitter, cursing the Steelers, makin’ excuses, etc etc. So, I unleashed my legions of fire devils to bite his ass.

  3. The Kid January 31, 2006 at 4:50 pm #

    It’s still 2 to 1 my friend. Bring your heat. I’d gladly duel you again — anytime. Go Seahawks! HALOALAOHALAO!

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